Fun things to do
Whenever you are next bored, or feel like being annoying, here are some cool things to do.
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Insist that your email address begins with 'xena-warrior-princess' or 'elvis-the-king'.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS".
Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy."
dont use any punctuation
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle at work. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
When the money comes out of the cash machine, scream "I Won! I Won! Third time this week!"
When leaving the zoo, run towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
Pay off your MasterCard with your Visa.
Pop some popcorn without putting on the lid.
When someone says, "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.
Send yourself a CandyGram.
Have a tea party with your pets.
Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to school as if nothing was wrong.
Write checks with Roman numerals.
Write "Out to lunch" on your forehead.
Leaf through a National Geographic and draw clothes on everybody.
Drive to the store in reverse.
Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
Read the dictionary backwards and look for hidden messages.
Bill your doctor for time spent in the waiting room.
Stare at people through the points of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
Make up a language and stop someone to ask for directions.
Write a short story using alphabet soup.
Talk to your fish.
Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias.
Start conversations with the words, "Did you ever wonder why..."
Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
Buy a complete set of Transformers. Play with them loudly. If people comment, tell them with a straight face, "There's more to them than meets the eye."
Just a ordinary guy from Georgia. Here I publish my interests, rants, raves, and things that happen throughout my day to day life.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Old School Baseball
I'm a little upset with the athletes today. People holding out, baseball players using steroids -- what the hell is that? Using steroids, man, that ain't nothing like the old school. Remember the old school guys? These guys were men. Babe Ruth hit over 700 home runs after, like, banging hookers all night.... Bret Ernst
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Welcome to the wonderful world of humankind.
Welcome to the wonderful world of humankind.
What a crazy world! We've got crazy fundamentalist Muslims who want to die for Allah, crazy fundamentalist Christians who want to tell everyone how to behave, crazy anti-abortion clinic bombers who want to kill for life, crazy militia nuts crashing through the forest shooting cows, crazy employees who want to kill their bosses, crazy husbands who want to kill their wives and kids, crazy kids in street gangs who want to kill other crazy kids in other street gangs, and crazy professors who want to kill over tenure decisions, crazy wives who want to kill their husbands, crazy war on drugs that is a waste of taxpayer money, and a crazy government that won’t do anything about it in fear of offending some group along with the other crap the government is trying to do with our taxpayer money. WTF!!!!!!!!!
What a crazy world! We've got crazy fundamentalist Muslims who want to die for Allah, crazy fundamentalist Christians who want to tell everyone how to behave, crazy anti-abortion clinic bombers who want to kill for life, crazy militia nuts crashing through the forest shooting cows, crazy employees who want to kill their bosses, crazy husbands who want to kill their wives and kids, crazy kids in street gangs who want to kill other crazy kids in other street gangs, and crazy professors who want to kill over tenure decisions, crazy wives who want to kill their husbands, crazy war on drugs that is a waste of taxpayer money, and a crazy government that won’t do anything about it in fear of offending some group along with the other crap the government is trying to do with our taxpayer money. WTF!!!!!!!!!
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